Sunday, April 19, 2009

Religious Bumper Stickers

My father has a giant, brass belt buckle that loudly and proudly says "PRAISE THE LORD!" I could always just envision someone staring at his crotch and wondering exactly what he meant by wearing that. On that note, I thought I'd share some of my favorite (real) religious bumper stickers:

1. There is nothing too small in the service of God.
2. For all you do, His blood's for you!
3. Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help!
4. God does not want a part-time lover, he's looking for a bride!
5. My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18
6. If a man can be found faithful in hard places, he can usually be trusted in high places.
7. As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them.
8. God won't be looking for your medals, degrees or diplomas--, He'll be looking for your scars.
9. You are never so high as when you're on your knees.
10. God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with.

If there is anything stranger than these kinds of bumper stickers, it is bumper stickers that make fun of these kinds of bumper stickers. So, to be fair, I probably should add in a few (real) atheist bumper stickers as well...

1. Atheists aren't perfect....just evolving.
2. Agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
3. God was my co-pilot, but we crashed into a mountain and I had to eat him. :P